Pop quiz: Can you have it all?
Think you can have it all? Take our quiz and find out.
1. Do you have doting relations offering free childcare?
A. No. They’re on the other coast — by design.
B. Yes, but that means three hours of Minecraft with Uncle Kevin and Doritos for lunch.
C. Yes, and they’ll even feed and wash them.
2. Is your workplace family-friendly?
A. No. My boss is “leaning in” so far she looks like an Olympic ski jumper.
B. Kind of. I can take time to pump my breast milk, but it’s in a bathroom stall.
C. Yes, I can flex my hours and work from home if my kids get sick.
3. How much do you work?
A. I last saw my kids during daylight hours on the weekend.
B. Part time, but I always feel behind.
C. Part time, from home and with a cat on my lap.
4. How would you describe your division of labor at home?
A. “Mad Men”-inspired.
B. A split between Molly Maid and Trader Joe’s.
C. We equally share cooking, cleaning and childcare, with birds chirping on the window sill and squirrels dusting with their tails while we work.
5. How would you characterize your involvement at your child’s/children’s school?
A. Signing field-trip permission slips.
B. We caught a school play once.
C. Weekly volunteer shifts and baked goods for teachers.
6. What did you do on your most recent date night?
A. Isn’t that something for people on Tinder?
B. Tried to remember the name of a new, cool restaurant; ended up at the usual spot.
C. Date night?! Try date weekend!
7. Your workout routine includes:
A. Schlepping a bucket car seat all over town.
B. Semi-regular walks around Green Lake pushing a stroller.
C. Teaching Pilates and yoga on alternating days.
8. Your last good night’s sleep was:
A. During Obama’s first term.
B. The last time I was out of town for work, alone in a hotel.
C. Last night.
9. Which have you felt most guilty about?
A. That the what-have-I-not-felt-guilty-about list is shorter.
B. Pretending “Lunchables” count as food.
C. Failing to make homemade Valentines for your kid’s classmates.
10. What I miss most about my pre-kid life is:
A. Sleep. Uninterrupted sleep.
B. Being able to leave the house without having to strategize food, naps, clothes and sufficient diversions for an army of mutinous children.
C. I wasn’t really living until the blessed arrival of my child/children.
Score 1 point for each “A” answer, with 3 points for “B” and 5 for “C.”
Score 10 to 25: Oh, honey. Can you call in sick for a spa day?
Score 26 to 49: Not bad! You might not have it all, but some things are working for you (and no, this wouldn’t all be easier if you’d decided to have kids when you were 25 — it’s hard then, too).
Score 50: Congratulations! You are a mythical creature whose pet unicorn has rainbows coming out of its butt.
Read more articles on work/life balance from the April 2015 print edition of Seattle's Child.