Talking to kids about the news: expert tips

There’s a war going on, and your kids may have questions.

Even if you’d rather not talk about it, it’s important to find out what kids know, what they’re thinking and how you can support them, says Dr. Susanna Block, a pediatrician with Kaiser Permanente.

“We’re living in the Information Age,” she says. “They’ve probably already heard bits and pieces.”

That’s when a parent needs to step in to help children interpret what they’ve heard and to provide accurate information along with understanding, reassurance and validation of their emotions.

And there’s another reason: “You’re setting the foundation for a lifetime of open conversation,” Dr. Block says.

“This is not the only time we’ll be doing this,” whether the topic is world events or challenges faced within your own family.

Talking to kids about the news

Dr. Block advises gauging kids’ prior knowledge, questions and concerns and meeting them with straight answers and emotional support.

The exception to this: If your kids are very young, and not asking about the situation, you probably don’t need to bring it up, Dr. Block says.

If you are going to talk about current events, “Do it when they’re receptive and engaged. This is not a conversation to have when kids are tired or hungry,” she adds.

You don’t have to give a lot of detail, particularly to younger kids, and you don’t have to have all of the answers. In fact, looking for information together and guiding kids toward reliable sources can be part of the learning process, Dr. Block says. She sat down with a map and explained to one of her kids that Russia and Ukraine had a long history of dispute.

She points out that there’s a fine line between giving kids honest answers but keeping them from getting too scared or upset about the situation.

Reassurance and a sense of hope are important, along with empathy, she adds.

“Remind kids that we are safe, but that people need our help,” she suggests. There are ways to help humanitarian efforts in Ukraine, for instance, but helping a cause closer to home is also a great way to channel your emotions into action. “It’s empowering, and it feels good.”

And, this is important, for people of all ages:

It’s OK to take a break from the news. Maybe set times to check in, but don’t keep the TV blaring CNN all day. Don’t doomscroll.

Dr. Block sees it as a balancing act: Be honest with your kids, and give them information (as appropriate). But also: practice self-care and find joy in your day.

“Go outside. Move around. Cook dinner. Visit a friend. Change the situation.”