When Lakshmi Iyer and her husband, Narayanan, emigrated to the United States from Chennai, India, they had no idea what would come into their lives beyond the two great technology jobs that brought them there. Lakshmi was sure she wanted children, but white children? The couple, part of the could not even have conceived of the thought back in 2001.
And yet, after years of trying to get pregnant, the couple decided to adopt. Through a private adoption process, they became parents to Anjali and Megda, 10-month-old caucasian and Indigenous twins in 2009.
“It’s probably the most unbelievable thing that’s ever happened to me,” Lakshmi says of the unlikely adoption in the new documentary “Love, Chaos, Kin.”
Starting from that unlikely moment and spanning 12 years of the Iyers’ experience, this heart-warming, norms-challenging, thought-provoking film takes viewers on the journey as the girls’ curiosity and their parents’ commitment to helping them explore identity through connection with their birth parents broaden the definition of what it means to be family.
Love, Chaos, Skin is screening at the 52nd Seattle International Film Festival (SIFF) on May 16 and 17.
Synopsis
A surprising pregnancy following the adoption of her twin girls leaves Lakshmi, who lives with her family in a large home, with a profound new understanding of the biological connection between mothers and children. She hopes to help birth mother Brandy feel a connection to her babies and begins sending her regular posts about and photos of the kids, including videos of Anjali and Megda saying hello and calling her “Mommy B” (for Brandy). The posts are both heartbreaking and heartwarming for Brandy, who wanted her kids to grow up without financial worry rather than live through her constant struggle to make ends meet.
As the girls grow, they naturally begin to have questions. The heart of the movie comes in their meeting Brandy in person and in Lakshmi’s continued efforts to keep the connection alive over the years. Eventually, Anjali and Megda want to know more about their father, a member of the Navajo tribe who denied that the twins were his, according to Brandy. Again, Lakshmi takes action, bringing her whole family to New Mexico to visit the reservation. The tribe requires DNA proof, and Lakshmi, a mother undeterred, makes it happen. In one of the most powerful scenes in the film, a Navajo elder tells the girls about being taken away to an Indian boarding school as a child as part of the government’s attempt to erase Native American culture and language. That experience and, eventually, meeting their father help both girls feel part of a much wider family of Indigenous people in counties 8,000 miles apart.
Bookends
Two moments anchor the girls and their Tamil Hindu parents in this film. It opens with Laksmi, Anjali, and Megda setting up a multi-tiered altar featuring many gods for their Navaratri festival. As they do, Lakshmi teaches the girls about the gods. Near the end of the film, years later, we return to the altar. This time, not only are the Hindu gods present, Mary, Joseph, and Jesus, but also representations of the Navajo spirituality.
So much has changed between these bookends—Megda has chosen to return to her birth name, Cecilia. Brandy has become Kathrine as part of starting her life over and appears to be thriving. The connections remain strong. Lakshmi’s efforts have brought her twins even closer to her, where friends feared they would cause strife.
The through line is clear: A parent’s love has no bounds, families come in all shapes and sizes, and identity and belonging are the birthright of every child.
“Love, Chaos, Kin” is both courageous and uplifting. Don’t miss it.
See the film
Age recommendation: Ages 8 and up. This film offers many topics for exploration after the show.
What: “Love, Chaos, Kin” directed by Chithra Jeyaram
When: Saturday, May 16, at 5:15 p.m. and Sunday, May 17, starting at 4:15 p.m. at SIFF Cinema Uptown. Get tickets.
Cost: Adults, $20; Students with ID and seniors, $17.
Age recommendation: Ages 8 and up. This film offers many topics for exploration after the show.
Some questions to ponder together:
- How did it feel to see white girls with darker-skinned parents? Would you feel differently if the skin tones were reversed?
- What makes a family?
- What are reasons a mother might look for adoptive parents for a child?
- What does the work identity mean?
- What does it mean to “belong” in a family?
