You're headed out the door, and your child announces, Uh-oh, my math worksheet was due today.
And where is this wayward homework? At school, in my desk. I meant to bring it home. Oh, and today's the field trip. I think I'm supposed to bring a sack lunch. And, I need you to sign my permission slip … Hey, mom, why are you making that mad face?
It's an all-too-familiar situation. But chill out, mom – it doesn't mean your child is a mental mess. Yes, he will be able to live on his own. Someday.
Most kids can't be organized to adult standards – developmentally, they're just not there yet – but they can learn basic organizational skills. If you haven't taught your kids self-organizing skills, it's time to give a lesson, says Margit Crane, a Seattle-area parent coach who works with kids and teens (www.thegiftedteencoach.com). Learning these skills takes time; expect to do a lot of handholding at first. "Instead of thinking of it as enabling your child, imagine yourself as an assistant," Crane says. "You won't do it for the rest of your lives, you'll taper off your assistance as the years go by."
You need to develop routines that work for your unique child, says Laurie Dietzel, co-author of Late, Lost, and Unprepared: A Parents' Guide to Helping Children with Executive Functioning. "The truth is that there is great individual variability about what works," Dietzel says. "Some kids need visual cues while others need to develop a routine using music or movement like ‘shoes, lunch, backpack … cha cha cha.'"
Watch your kid and use his learning style to organize in the right way for him, from
the school-day prep to everyday homework. "There is no one-size-fits-all answer," Dietzel says. "Don't assume that the techniques that work for you to organize your world will be the best fit with your child."
Here's an hour-by-hour guide to a more organized school year:
7:30 a.m. Morning Moves
On school mornings, does your child often forget to brush teeth or grab a sandwich? Crane suggests creating "as many to-do lists as necessary," including a bathroom to-do list, a bedroom to-do list or front-door to-do list. For kids younger than 9, offer about three to five items total for each list (wash face, brush teeth, use bathroom). For tweens, bump it up to five or six items.
For nonreading kids, draw pictures or cut photos from magazines, suggests Marcella Moran, co-author of Organizing the Disorganized Child (https://theharperstudio.com/authorsandbooks/organizing/).
8:30 a.m. Harness the Desk Disaster
What's in your child's desk at school – overflowing papers and half-eaten bananas? The eww factor aside, it's hard to find supplies in a clutter. Go with your child, 10 minutes before the school bell, and clear it out.
Help your child pick the perfect place for always-in-use items such as pencils, glue and markers. "The idea is to only store items you need within arm's length," says Laura Leist, a Seattle-area professional organizer (https://eliminatechaos.com/) and the author of Eliminate Chaos: The 10-Step Process to Organize Your Home and Life. Label colored folders to contain paperwork – or even heavy-duty, see-through Ziploc bags – with "still working" and "all done." If necessary, use the same approach with the home desk and locker.
9 a.m. Find Your Folder Finesse
Unless your teacher requests a specific style of folder, try the four-pocket Boomerang Folder (www.reallygoodstuff.com), which has pockets for homework, stuff for parents, stuff for teachers and papers to leave at home.
3 p.m. Seek the Perfect Spot
When papers (homework, permission slips, class newsletters) come through the front door, offer a permanent location for that paperwork – whether a desk or a drawer.
"Kids need to be taught at a young age to be responsible for this," Leist says. "The first thing they do when coming in is unload the backpack, empty the lunch sack and put the backpack in its location." After the last worksheet is done, homework goes right back into the folder.
4 p.m. Keep your Calendar Cool
Head to your local Office Depot or Barnes and Noble to select the perfect family calendar, Crane suggests – maybe one with fun stickers or a favorite cartoon character. Ask your child to help you fill in family events, school field trips, play dates and music lessons on a weekly and monthly basis.
"Hands-on is really how little kids learn," Crane says. "You need to set up reminder systems, so kids don't need to manage all that in their head." The calendar acts as a family reminder system and fights forgetfulness about today's after-school play date, and this week's deadlines and duties.
5 p.m. Solve Missing-Item Mysteries
Have yet another Case of the Disappearing Piano Book? Create a "home" base and storage system for your child's extracurricular stuff. But go slow. "People always want to do the shopping part first," Leist says, hoping a special box or new doodad will free them from tidying tasks. Instead, think through the process, group like items together and find logical homes for those groups. Soccer cleats, for example, belong in the same bag as the kneepads and water bottle – a bag hung on a garage hook or other handy spot.
"The last and most important part is maintenance," Leist says. When the cleats come in the door, make sure they get washed off and put back in the bag (or as near it as possible).
6 p.m. Tame the Paper Kitten
What to do with that sea of school papers that washes in your door, each artwork more prized than the last? Sit down at the dinner table and challenge your child to choose just one save-worthy item (OK, maybe two or three if you're feeling generous), Leist suggests. Savers go in a box – for now. During summer break, ask your child to pick out favorite pieces to save forever. Digitally photograph other treasures – and toss ‘em into recycling.
7 p.m. Nix Morning Nightmares
Facing chaotic mornings? Prep lunches, organize school bags and pick clothes the night before, Moran suggests. Set everything by the front door, so the next day's routine runs a little smoother.
At the end of the day, you're doing more than helping your kid get organized, according to Leist. "You're teaching them decision-making skills," she says. "Being organized is often about being able to make a good decision. In the absence of making a decision, you end up with clutter."
Lora Shinn could use a few of these tips herself, as she somehow entered adulthood with a cluttered desk. She writes for a wide variety of regional and national parenting magazines, including Pregnancy, KIWI, Parenting and Seattle's Child.
