Give kids more than SM safety warnings | OP-Ed

Parents today are navigating an increasingly polarized conversation about social media. Schools are restricting phones, policymakers are proposing platform bans, and many families are questioning when young people should gain access to social media.

These debates reflect legitimate concerns. Research has linked some forms of social media use to challenges such as sleep disruption, body image pressures, and exposure to harmful content. Yet conversations about solutions often focus on restricting access while paying less attention to an important question: 

How are young people learning to navigate digital environments once they encounter them?

Restriction and education serve different purposes. Restrictions may limit exposure to potential harms. Education helps young people develop the knowledge and critical thinking skills needed to navigate online spaces. Regardless of where families stand on questions of access, most young people will eventually encounter social media.

To better understand how prepared they feel when they do, my colleagues and I surveyed more than 1,000 U.S. high school students. We asked where they learn about social media and whether that guidance helps them navigate the realities of online life.

One finding stood out: parents matter more than they may realize.

More than three-quarters of adolescents said their parents had talked with them about social media, making parents the most common source of guidance. When asked who provided the most helpful support, teens identified parents far more often than teachers, peers, or the platforms themselves.

While adolescents may know more about the latest apps and platform features, they continue to look to adults for help making sense of their experiences. Our findings suggest that parental influence remains substantial and that these conversations should start earlier and occur more often.

Nearly two-thirds of teens in our study said social media education should begin before age 13. Their instincts reflect the reality that many young people encounter social media well before high school. Yet many adolescents reported receiving guidance only after they were already actively navigating digital spaces. Only about one in five teens reported discussing social media with parents weekly or more often, and for many families, conversations occurred only a few times per year.

Conversations often emerge in response to a problem—a concerning post, an online conflict, or a troubling news story. Our findings suggest that adolescents benefit from something broader: ongoing opportunities to discuss the role social media plays in their lives. This may be especially important given that nearly half of teens reported learning to navigate social media through trial and error, while fewer than one in five reported learning through formal education in schools.

Perhaps the most important finding for parents was that teens wanted more than warnings. 

Most adolescents reported learning about risks such as cyberbullying, privacy breaches, and misinformation. However, fewer teens reported learning about the positive ways social media can be used, including creative expression, exploring interests, and finding supportive communities.

This imbalance matters because adolescents do not experience social media as entirely positive or entirely negative. Their experiences are often both. When education acknowledged this complexity and addressed both opportunities and challenges, teens reported feeling more confident and better prepared to navigate online spaces.

 The implication is not that parents should worry less about online safety. Rather, our findings suggest that conversations about social media are most valuable when they extend beyond safety alone. 

Ask your teen to show you how their feed works and why they think certain posts keep surfacing. Ask about something they recently encountered online that they found interesting, inspiring, or misleading. Talk about your own digital habits, what captures your attention, what you trust, and how you decide whether information is credible. You do not need to be an expert on every new platform to be an effective guide. What matters most is creating space for ongoing conversation.

While public debates often focus on restricting access, the teens in our study pointed to another priority. They want trusted adults who can help them make sense of a digital world that is already part of their lives. 

Parents do not need to have all the answers. But they can help young people develop the skills and judgment they will need long after parental controls and platform restrictions are gone.