Kids and grief: How do you say goodbye to someone you love, whether it’s a pet or a grandparent? Dealing with death can be difficult and painful for grown-ups, let alone for little children.
In one of the newest books in the “Freeda the Frog” series, “Freeda the Frog Says Farewell to Her Fish,” author Nadine Haruni presents a story focusing on the loss of the frog family’s beloved pet fish, Goldie, to help families struggling with loss and the often-overwhelming feelings surrounding it.
Whether reeling from the unexpected loss of a pet or a person — or facing the approaching death of an ailing or elderly family member — parents and kids can find comfort in sitting together and reading about how parents Freeda and Samson helped their tadpoles cope with Goldie’s death.
Kids and grief: 5 tips for parents
Haruni offers these tips to help parents “struggling to find the right words or actions to express their feelings or condolences” when they are explaining loss or the grieving process to a child:
- Use simple, direct words to talk about death. Give your child a moment to take your words in, and prepare them for rituals or events that will happen.
- Give them an age-appropriate book. Relatable characters can help kids explore the feelings that they will likely be experiencing.
- Listen, provide comfort, and encourage them to talk. Remind them that you are here, and it’s OK to cry or openly discuss their feelings with you or a professional.
- Remind them that loved ones aren’t forgotten. Encourage them to talk or write about treasured memories with their loved one who has passed to keep them close.
- Teach them an appropriate condolence gesture. A handwritten condolence note, food, or flowers for the grieving family may be appropriate.
“Hugs, sharing memories, having a ceremony to say goodbye, and letting yourself cry are all ways to ease mourning, heal, and teach your kids at an early age how to do the right thing, be a good friend, and prepare for inevitably going through loss,” Haruni said.
More in Seattle’s Child:
Dad Next Door: When the unimaginable happens: Walking through grief with a child
