What does it mean to “never forget” when a child didn’t experience a horrifying event in the first place? Parents in Seattle and across the country must grapple with that question each year in September.
It’s hard to believe that it’s been a quarter of a century since the World Trade Center towers fell in New York City while parents, teachers, and a whole lot of then-kids watched on screens here in Seattle and across the country. But Sept. 11, 2026 is, indeed, the 25th anniversary of that world-changing terrorist attack on U.S. soil.
Kids today, of course, did not witness the planes crashing into the towers, the Pentagon building or an empty field near Shanksville, Pennsylvania, in real time and in endless re-runs over the weeks and months following the attacks. But a significant anniversary year is likely to bring images of those events and conversations about them.
Should you talk to kids about the events of 9-11-2001?
University of Missouri communications Professor Haley Horstman and a team of researchers looked this year at how parents talk with their children about 9/11 in 2026.
In a university journal interview, Horstman said parent-child conversations about 9/11 often start with a child’s questions and are often prompted by an image or something heard at school. But she said it may be better if parents bring up the topic first.
“Waiting to talk about it until their child asks a question may inadvertently send the message that discussing historical tragedies like 9/11 – or other difficult topics – is off-limits,” Horstman said. “Children may have questions but not know how to ask, or they might not feel comfortable broaching the subject.”
With the anniversary fast approaching, Horstman stressed that parents bringing up 9/11 before the Friday memorial will send kids the message that conversations are welcome.
Tips for talking
The 9/11 Memorial & Museum in New York is a standout leader in 9/11 education, focusing not only on what happened that day, but on how to help kids understand that moment in history. The museum’s guide “Talking to Children about Terrorism ” is a good starting point for discussions with young kids about terrorist attacks in the United States and around the world. Here’s that guidance in a nutshell:
- Let them know you are always ready to talk. Some kids will bring up 9/11 on their own. Others won’t, and that’s fine too — don’t force it. Either way, let them know you’re around when they’re ready.
- When they do ask, stick to what’s true and skip what’s not necessary. A short, honest answer beats a complete one. If a question stumps you, say so — modeling “I don’t know, let’s find out” is a legitimate answer, not a failure.
- Kids sometimes need to hear, plainly, that they’re safe. Say it, and mean it. If a child keeps circling back to the same worry, don’t argue them out of it — help them find ways to sit with it instead.
- Avoid folding this into “people like X did this” territory. Individual stories — a specific first responder, a specific survivor — teach more than generalizations, and they don’t risk teaching kids to blame a whole group for the actions of a few.
- Watch for signs of distress. Reactions vary a lot by age, temperament, and what a kid has already been through. Changes in sleep, appetite, or mood are worth noticing. If it sticks around or gets in the way of daily life, that’s a conversation for a pediatrician or therapist, not something to wait out.
- There will be images; keep track of what they are seeing. Kids who’ve already been through loss or trauma unrelated to 9/11 tend to feel this kind of news harder. Keep an eye on what they’re seeing online or on TV — coverage of an anniversary can include footage that’s too much for a child to process alone.
- Share your own feelings. It’s fine for kids to see that, and to see how you handle it — that’s its own kind of lesson. If it’s more than you can manage on your own, that’s worth getting support for, too.
- About that phrase, “Never forget”: Tell your kids why the day is marked with memorials and remembrances. They may wonder why adults focus on terrible events. It’s a good idea to talk, in age-appropriate language, about the purpose of a memorial: to honor those who have died. Your family may have a cultural perspective on remembering the deceased. Lean on that.
Local memorial events
Attending a memorial gathering can help kids process information and feelings about difficult topics like the 9/11 terrorist attacks and the thousands of deaths that resulted. Here’s what’s happening in and around Seattle:
The Seattle Fire and Seattle Police departments will host a family-friendly memorial event on Seattle Center’s South Fountain Lawn on Friday, Sept. 11, starting at noon. The city’s fire chief, interim police chief, and Mayor Katie Wilson will reflect on what 9/11 meant to them and discuss its impact on the first responder community. The ceremony will also feature performances by the Seattle Firefighters Pipes & Drums band, the vocal duo Red Hot & Blue, and a moment of silence as wreaths are laid at the memorial.
At fire stations throughout Seattle: Seattle Fire and Seattle Police Firefighters will lower U.S. flags to half-staff at each fire station in the city with a moment of silence at 8:46 a.m. Seattle residents are invited to visit their neighborhood station or participate in their own moment of silence. Not in Seattle? Call your local fire department to see if they will memorialize 9/11.
South King Fire & Rescue will hold a “We Will Never Forget” 25th Anniversary Ceremony, Friday, Sept. 11, at 1 p.m. at Federal Way Fire Station 64, 3700 S. 320th St., Federal Way. The location is the West Coast’s most complete 9/11 memorial site and includes a steel beam from the World Trade Center, a limestone block from the Pentagon, and a stone from the Flight 93 crash site in Shanksville. Guest speakers include Federal Way Police Chief Andy Hwang, South King Fire Chief Ryan Woodey, and Des Moines Police Chief Ted Boe.
Edmonds’ South County Fire will hold a 9/11 Memorial Ceremony on Friday, Sept. 11, 2026, at 9:11 a.m. at the Edmonds 9/11 Memorial, 275 6th Ave. N., Edmonds. The Edmonds memorial also contains steel from the World Trade Center.
Firefighters speak
Sometimes hearing from people directly affected by an event can help kids make sense of tragedies. Firefighters were at the heart of the rescue response, and many lost their lives helping others. Many local firefighters from Puget Sound helped with recovery efforts.
Puget Sound Fire and Puget Sound Firefighters Local 1747 have launched a 7-part series of short video memorials this week called “Never Forget” on Facebook and other social media.
“Each day this week, we’ll share stories from Puget Sound Fire members, both active and retired, about 9/11’s impact on their lives,” the firefighters said on Facebook. “Their individual calls to action range widely: watching smoke billow from the Twin Towers from their grade school window as FDNY family members responded to the all-call, being deployed to the World Trade Center search and rescue efforts … becoming a pillar of Puget Sound Firefighters Pipes & Drums honoring our fallen, and getting married on 9/11 as a lifelong tribute.”
