Why parents can’t ignore Netflix’s dark new teen drama ‘Adolescence’

A 13-year-old boy stabs his female classmate to death.

That’s not a news headline, although it certainly could be. (In fact, there was an attempted stabbing committed by an 11-year-old in Lynnwood just last week.) It’s a plot point in “Adolescence”, the latest television series to sweep viewers into the dark side of modern teenagehood.

After just 17 days on Netflix, the four-part limited series became the streaming site’s most popular series of all time. It has reached number one in 80 countries around the world. This is not the first series to tackle the messy years of puberty and post-pubescence, but “Adolescence” has struck a nerve that, until now, has been easier to ignore than acknowledge.

What is “Adolescence”?

The British limited series created by Stephen Graham and Jack Thorne is not a whodunnit.

There is no question that 13-year-old Jamie Miller, played by the incredibly talented young actor Owen Cooper, murdered his female classmate. “Adolescence” explores, not who, what, when or where the act was committed, but why. Each episode is one continuous shot, a cinematic marvel that is not only an impressive feat of filmmaking, but a technique that brings a rawness and authenticity often impeded by traditional editing.

As detectives and psychologists dig deeper, they discover a troubling ideology growing in popularity amongst Jamie and his male peers originating from one place: “the manosphere”, a collection of websites, social media pages and online forums that promote misogyny, toxic masculinity and a violent opposition to feminism. The movement is beyond troublesome, but how these impressionable kids are becoming indoctrinated is the crux of the show’s argument.

The parent problem

Jamie’s parents, played by Stephen Graham and Christine Tremarco, are the poignant — and possibly polarizing — focus of “Adolescence”. In contrast to the cliché, they have never abused Jamie. They strive to be positive role models to their children, and they work to shield Jamie from the perils of the world by keeping him safely tucked away in his bedroom, unaware of a greater danger lurking within arm’s reach.

“[Social psychologist] Jonathan Haidt says we are under-protecting children online and overprotecting them in the real world,” said Emily Cherkin, founder of The Screentime Consultant based in Seattle. “‘Scary versus dangerous’ is this idea that parental anxiety is heightened by horrible click-bait headlines… It’s the confirmation bias that the world really is dangerous. I’m actually safer giving [technology] to my child because they are physically in my house.”

As the digital world becomes the new normal for social interactions and information gathering amongst younger generations, there is the unavoidable threat that kids will find the wrong “influence.” Andrew Tate, a social media personality notorious for promoting many of the ideologies Jamie promotes on the show, is one of many “influencers” teens can stumble upon, if the algorithm deems it. Parental controls, while helpful, often give parents a false sense of security, particularly when they are up against kids who are smarter and more tech savvy than any generation prior.

“It can be an unintentional trade-off the parents are making,” said Dr. Gregory Moy, PhD, a clinical psychologist at Seattle Child Psychology in Edmonds. “That unmonitored and invisible stream of inputs and media children are streaming as a passive consumer.”

The digital influence

The risk of kids finding trouble in the digital world is undeniably correlated with their increasing access to online platforms and electronic devices. According to a new Pew Research Center survey of American teens ages 13 to 17, nearly all teens (96 percent) report using the internet on a daily basis and nearly half (46 percent) say they are online ‘almost constantly’. Most teens (95 percent) own or have access to a smartphone.

With unprecedented access for their age, Jamie and his friends accumulate a lexicon that may be unfamiliar to older viewers. Expressions like “incel” meaning “involuntary celibate”, and the “80/20 rule”, postulating that 80% of women are attracted to only 20% of men, are divisive terms meant to enrage recipients and unite those who have “swallowed the red pill”, another word central to the manosphere. While there is no way to scrub the internet and society of such concepts, the responsibility to guide impressionable minds is undeniably on attentive caregivers.

“When we hear the word ‘influencer’, we automatically think social media influencer,” said Dr. Moy. “At home, the real-life influencers can play an even more prominent role. It’s developmentally appropriate for kids to want to exert some autonomy, reject some attempts at control…. Let’s be intentional with how we’re consuming and not passively taking in everything social media is feeding us.”

Family values

Cherkin, who has two teenagers at home, works with families struggling to combat the negative effects of unregulated screentime. She says she’s heard of teens so attached to their devices that they bring their phones in the shower wrapped in Ziploc bags. Cherkin says she is not “anti-tech”, but “tech intentional”, an approach of moderation. Change is not just on the kids, and the Netflix series emphasizes the importance that family plays in these situations.

“The reason I would recommend [watching ‘Adolescence’] to people, is because it is part of the parent experience that needs to be better understood and validated,” Cherkin said. “The parental awareness piece is the part of this that changes both cultural mindset and parenting mindset… It is incumbent upon us as adults to do the hard work, the uncomfortable work, the thinking about our role-modeling of our technology use in front of our children.”

After looking inward at our own consumption of media and device usage, Cherkin has a zippy, but powerful recommendation for parents and caregivers to help reassess their approach to screentime, social media and the dangers of the web: “Later is better; less is more; relationships and skills before screens.”

Dr. Moy’s guidance is eerily similar: “Have conversations. Set parameters. Set expectations. Remind kids that they are loved and cared for.”

Emily Cherkin is the author of the book “The Screentime Solution: A Judgment-Free Guide to Becoming a Tech-Intentional Family”, released in 2024. Learn more at thescreentimeconsultant.com.

Gregory Moy is a clinical psychologist in private practice specializing in comprehensive evaluations, direct treatment, and parent coaching. To learn more about Dr. Moy’s practice and services offered to families, please visit www.seattlechildpsych.com/contact.