Going to the doctor can be frightening for a kid: It’s a new place, full of unfamiliar people and some equipment that can look a little scary. If the child is hurt or isn’t feeling well, all of this uneasiness might feel heightened. Thankfully, there are things parents can do to ease the tension at their child’s doctor’s visit– and some of them can be done before leaving home.
Kristen Bishop, a certified child life specialist with Mary Bridge Children’s, offers these five ideas:
1. Prepare for the visit in advance
Parents can explain what a child is likely to see and experience during the appointment. “The idea is to anticipate what to expect so kids aren’t surprised,” Bishop says.
“Medical play” can help, depending on the child’s age. Having their own doctor kit can normalize the experience and the tools and make everything seem less scary. Trying out a toy stethoscope or a pretend injection (gently) on a parent or sibling – even a pet – can build familiarity and comfort.
Try to answer any questions your child has about the upcoming visit. One of these questions might be: “Why?” (A totally fair question, by the way, Bishop says.)
If the child says, “But I’m not sick!” and wonders why this is necessary, explain that it’s important to go to the doctor to keep your body working well or, as Bishop puts it, “to make sure your body is doing its job, growing properly and staying healthy and strong.”
(Parents, if you need any more persuading, know that a doctor will check developmental milestones and can notice issues that parents might not see, things that can best be dealt with when caught early.)
2. Bring an activity to your child’s doctor visit
This serves several purposes, Bishop explains. You can keep your child occupied during the inevitable wait times, and a familiar distraction can help keep nerves under control.
What to bring? A book, game, stuffed animal, electronic device … something portable, familiar and fun to help keep small hands and curious minds busy.
3. Have a plan
To the extent possible, know what the visit is likely to involve. (This of course is easier with a checkup than, say, an unexpected trip to urgent care.) Kids, naturally, will want to know if there will be shots. You might as well be upfront with them, although sometimes you’ll have to answer, “I don’t know.”
Beyond that, some practical considerations: Will the child sit on your lap, or independently? Would they like you to hold their hand? “Make a game plan,” Bishop says.
If you know that a potentially painful or uncomfortable procedure will happen, know the options for pain management. Mary Bridge Children’s clinicians sometimes use a device called Buzzy that delivers vibration and cold to help reduce pain – during injections, for example.
4. Ask for a demonstration at your child’s doctor visit
If your child is uneasy about having their blood pressure or temperature taken, or their heart listened to, ask the practitioner to take your vital signs first. “The parent can be an example,” Bishop explains. “Then the child can see that the stethoscope isn’t scary or threatening.”
5. Speaking of “be an example” …
“Kids read parents’ anxiety,” Bishop says, so try your best to model the calm that you’d like your child to show. Take slow, deep breaths, have a positive attitude and encourage them to do the same.
More to think about
Should you reward your child for a successful doctor visit? Bishop understands the allure of the sticker, toy or trip to get ice cream – and far be it from her to tell you to skip these things!
She’s a bigger fan, though, of positive reinforcement and letting kids know that they are capable. “Tell your child they did a great job. Point out that they were scared, but they got through it!”
She also likes to see parents come at this with a certain matter-of-factness: Getting medical care is a fact of life, something we might not always want to do but from time to time will need to do. So childhood checkups are a form of skill-building.
Providers at Mary Bridge Children’s are here to help this process by giving you and your child useful information and the best possible experience during what can be a difficult time. The goal is to make a medical visit as bearable as possible and – who knows? – maybe even something to look forward to.
