Seattle's Child

Your guide to a kid-friendly city

Apex Social Group - Children smiling at camera

Labeling children with special needs? The pros and cons

Advice for parents

The question of labels is one many of us face as we navigate a society obsessed with categorization. When our children deviate slightly from the norm, it seems like there’s always an eager “expert” ready to slap on a label. These labels can range from sensory processing disorder (SPD), oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), autism spectrum disorder (ASD), learning differences or disabilities (LD), attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and many more.

Moreover, parents grapple with the debate surrounding the most appropriate label, whether it be neurodiverse, disabled, or special needs. Apex Social Group offers a close-up look at the pros and cons of labeling, helping parents make informed decisions.

Apex Social Group

The fear of labeling

Discovering that something is amiss with our child can be a frustrating experience when we don’t have a name for it. And for parents of older children thoughts might include, “If only I had gotten them diagnosed when they were young, we could’ve received the necessary support to manage the ADHD, and perhaps things would’ve been better.” Early diagnosis can indeed lead to early intervention, specialized education programs, and access to services. However, parents also grapple with the idea of a permanent label that may hinder their child’s development and identity.

When families seek child care for their newly diagnosed children, they often hesitate to share the diagnosis publicly due to the fear of labeling. Deciding whether or not to label a child with special needs can be challenging, particularly for children who fall into the higher-functioning category. Understanding the pros and cons of labeling is crucial for making an informed decision based on each unique situation.

Apex Social Group

The benefits of labeling

On one hand, labeling provides a clear explanation for a child’s differences and helps parents better understand their unique needs. Labels also facilitate the discovery of resources and support systems, enabling parents to advocate for appropriate accommodations and interventions. Furthermore, labels can improve communication approaches, set clearer expectations and shape environments to aid a child’s success.

The downside: Isolation and social barriers

However, labels can also be isolating and contribute to the development of a stigma. Labeled children may feel different, alone, and unable to connect with others. Labels create social barriers, leading to unhelpful assumptions and unsupportive judgments. Stereotyping, discrimination, and prejudice become concerns, as individuals may have different expectations for children with special needs.

It’s vital to remember that a label does not define a person’s abilities for life. My oldest son, for instance, had been diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, ODD and ADHD, yet where he once fit into all the diagnostic criteria for those labels, as he grew older, he did not. Each person’s journey is unique, and their potential should not be limited by a label.

Apex Social Group

Using labels effectively: Special needs, disability and neurodiverse

Labels should be seen as a starting point rather than a lifelong sentence. Evaluating and adjusting a child’s needs as they grow is essential. Labels facilitate evaluations and lead to more effective treatments over time. However, it’s crucial to ensure labels are assigned and used correctly to avoid potential harm or misinterpretation.

The term “special needs” has long been used as an umbrella term encompassing a wide range of disabilities, conditions, and challenges. While it aids communication, it lacks specificity and may lead to misunderstandings about capabilities and challenges.

Disability” holds empowerment and recognition for many disabled individuals and advocates. It acknowledges identity, experiences, and challenges while ensuring equal rights and accessibility. However, it can also be perceived negatively, associated with limitations or inferiority. Preferences for terminology can vary among individuals.

Neurodiverse” highlights the value of neurodiversity, fostering inclusion and acceptance. It recognizes natural variations in neurological characteristics and cognitive differences. However, it may lack specificity regarding challenges or needs. Additionally, as a relatively newer term, it may not be universally understood or recognized.

Despite the challenges and negative aspects, a label can bring opportunities and access to much-needed support. It can lead to understanding and acceptance within the community, connecting parents and providing specialized services tailored to a child’s needs.

Child empowerment: Focusing on abilities, strengths and potential

To ensure the positive aspects outweigh the negatives when labeling a child as special needs, for instance, it’s important to focus on the purpose of the label, which is to determine appropriate treatment and access to resources. Parents should actively engage in the process, educating themselves about their child’s diagnosis and seeking out relatable figures in popular culture who share the same label. By finding examples of successful individuals who have overcome similar challenges, children can feel less alone and realize that their diagnosis does not limit their potential.

While labels may play a role in shaping who our children are, we mustn’t let them define our children. Help them look beyond the label. We should set high expectations and empower them to thrive, regardless of any label, focusing on their abilities, strengths, and potential.


Nicole Knicely is the VP of Strategic Partnerships & Family Advising for Apex Social Group. A proud mother of two adulting boys (one neurodiverse), has had a diverse professional background as an entrepreneur, business owner, and consultant. However, she has found her true calling at Apex Social Group, where she has been a valued member for nearly two years. Her passion lies in working with an organization that has a strong service mission to empower families and make a positive impact in the world.

Since 2008, Apex Social Group has been dedicated to providing a unique live-in child care solution that fosters development and unlocks the full potential of every child. With a specialized focus on assisting families with special needs, they offer tailored support and guidance, along with an exceptional pool of candidates. Their expertise in this field has solidified their reputation as a trusted resource for families seeking high-quality care.

Editor’s Note: This is a sponsored post provided by Apex Social Group.

About the Author

Nicole Knicely, Apex Social Group