One of the best gifts you can give kids is to let them be kids! Play is important year-round for development and mental and physical health. But the holidays and time off from school bring extra opportunities for play and especially for imaginative, unstructured play.
As we parents head into the full holiday rush with errands to run and meals to make, we can get focused on how to keep everything on track and keep our kids occupied. Free, unstructured play time can fall by the wayside, but it’s important and healthy for kids and can be one of the joys of being a parent too.
Children (and really all of us) need play and fun like they need love, water, healthy food and enough sleep. Play helps children learn problem solving, social skills and confidence. Play and exercise can also release chemicals in the brain, like serotonin, that boost mood, reduce anxiety and improve sleep.
Structured activities like playing a board game and sports have huge benefits too, but unstructured play time allows kids to be creative, curious and think independently in different ways.
It also just lets kids be kids, in all their chaotic, loud, goofy glory. Tis is the season for making a mess with wrapping paper, using outdoor voices inside and singing silly songs!
Making time and space for kids to play
Unstructured play means the freedom to explore, discover and create without guidelines, rules or set activities. It sounds simple, but sometimes you need to help create space for free play:
- Just make time for play. Children are skilled at being in the moment and following their curiosity to whatever they enjoy. Give your kids plenty of unstructured play time in a safe environment. Let them go for it!
- Get out of their way. Creating their own enjoyment and experiences is part of the learning and benefit of free play. If you want to participate in the play, ask them how you can join and what the directions, game or play are without your own expectations or suggestions for how you would do it.
- Put the kids out of the house. Outdoor time is great for creativity, exercise and fresh air, plus has the bonus of running some energy out. Outside play (in a safe place) is always a good alternative when they are tearing around the kitchen while you are cooking.
- Have an adventure. Exploring the unknown is healthy for children and can be as simple as building a pillow fort or exploring a park that’s new to your family. Make it an adventure by creating a story about the fort or looking for a treasure like pinecones.
- Get the sillies out. During the holidays kids might be expected to behave and participate in adult activities which doesn’t leave a lot of room for the sillies. Find times to let them wriggle, jump around and dance when they feel the need, you might enjoy it too!
- Take pressure off the play. There can be a lot of build up around events with high expectations at the holidays, which can be hard for kids. Open-ended play can provide free time to just enjoy without expecting any particular outcome.
- Put the screens away. There may be some groaning at first but it’s worth it because without the distractions the creativity can flow.
Busy adults could take a lesson from kids and engage in some unstructured fun at the holidays, too.
Some of the best memories from family gatherings and holidays often come from a sense of wonder and play that the season can bring. Leaving space for that to happen and remembering that kids need to be kids can make it a more joyful season for everyone.
P.S. from Dr. Block
I’ll add my annual holiday season note: Volunteering together can also be a rewarding and bonding experience for families. It teaches gratitude and compassion and expands horizons while helping people in your community. Whether you visit some folks who might be lonely at the holidays, volunteer at a food bank or find other ways to care, giving back is a wonderful family holiday activity.
More from Dr. Block and Kaiser Permanente:
- Dr. Block’s tips for managing holiday stress and overload
- My child stutters, lisps or skips words: Should I worry?
- What to know about young athletes and eating disorders
- How to help your child learn good time management
- What to know about online bullying and cyberthreats
Originally published Dec. 22, 2024
