(Image courtesy Joshua Huston)
Amy Baker of south Seattle loves being the fun auntie. When kids visit, they can expect to make pancakes and cookies and create with Play-Doh. What differentiates her from most aunties is that the children who stay with her are in the foster care system — and kids stay with Baker only briefly.
As a respite caregiver, Baker supports full-time foster parents when they need a break — whether they want a breather at home or need a more extended vacation to refresh their compassionate parenting stores.
In 2017, Baker was fully licensed as a foster parent through City Ministries Child Placement Agency (CMCPA). Because she’s licensed, she is able to give other foster parents the flexibility to be off the grid while she has their kids. “They can turn off their cell phones, they can go camping, and I am fully responsible for the child,” Baker says. Families and respite providers can access a joint calendar for easy scheduling of respite care days.
Balancing work and respite
Baker has had about 80 respite visits over the past eight years, caring for a total of 11 kids. Two of them were twin 9-year-olds when they first stayed with her; today, they are 17. The twins were eventually adopted, but they still spend time with Auntie Amy. On rare occasions, she might care for kids for a week or two. But more commonly, kids stay for a weekend, accommodating her weekday job as an accountant.
“Overall, it’s been very rewarding for me,” Baker says. “I haven’t had the typical challenges that a lot of people expect, like major behavior issues or kids trying to run away. When you work with a child placement agency, they know you, and they know what you can handle and what your training is.”
Creating a fun and safe haven
Through questionnaires completed by foster parents, Baker learns about the children’s needs, routines, food preferences, and interests. Respite caregivers also undergo extensive training during the licensing process — and through ongoing education — that emphasizes building empathy and understanding behavioral issues related to abuse, trauma, and being in environments with substance abuse. Baker says she’s learned to look past surface behaviors to identify underlying root problems. As the fun auntie, Baker says she doesn’t have to enforce a routine like a full-time parent would. However, she is attentive to nighttime routines or fears, especially when a child stays with her for the first time. Otherwise, she wants the children to have fun, feel safe and comfortable, and look forward to returning. Dedicated playtime and creating traditions so kids know what to expect and be excited about help to bring that goal to fruition.
“I want it to be something that will provide the foster family support so they don’t feel guilty,” Baker explains. “I think there’s a lot of guilt with needing a break from a kid, so I want the kids to look forward to coming to my house, so it’s a positive thing for everyone.”
Several children have recently told Baker how grateful they are that she sits on the floor and plays with Lego bricks or Play-Doh with them. “It’s surprising and really cool that it really doesn’t take much,” Baker says. “[Spending time together] can be pretty simple, and the kids have a great time.”
A seed planted for future caregiving
Baker remembers her parents trying to adopt when she was a child. Even though that fell through, a seed was planted in Baker’s mind to consider caring for a non-related child in her future. As an adult, she worked with children at church and spent many days and nights supporting her best friend, a single mom with 4-year-old twins. The seed began sprouting when her church, founded by CMCPA, asked for volunteers to work with foster kids. She began assisting at events, like monthly craft sessions. She also helped with landscaping at the Rose Hill Cottages, a neighborhood developed through donations from Baker’s church to provide affordable housing for foster parents. Baker began building relationships with foster families and became familiar with respite caregiving.
“It was really helpful to ease into it,” Baker says, adding that she volunteered with the agency for three years before becoming licensed. “All those things contributed to helping me be more comfortable around kids and be willing to provide respite care for all ages, including for babies and toddlers. That all just kind of made [respite caregiving] a doable situation.”
This article is one piece of our special series on foster and kinship care, highlighting the voices and experiences of foster youth, caregivers, and communities supporting them. Explore the full series to read more of these important stories.
Treehouse builds brighter futures for foster kids in Washington | What happens when foster youth are met not with barriers, but with opportunity and support? Treehouse has spent decades answering that question — and changing lives in the process. As this one-of-a-kind program faces major funding cuts, its mission has never been more urgent.
How we became licensed foster parents in Washington | One family’s year-long journey to become a licensed foster parent — filled with paperwork, training, and plenty of heart — offers a firsthand look at the process. From orientation to their first placement, their story sheds light on the realities of stepping into foster care.
Paying It Forward: A former foster youth gives back | Kyle Martinez grew up in the foster care system, unsure of what his future might hold. Today, he’s using that experience to uplift others — mentoring youth in care and speaking out for stronger support systems. His journey from uncertainty to advocacy shows the impact one person can make when given the tools to thrive.
